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Showing content with the highest reputation since 08/23/2018 in Posts

  1. 3 points
    Aafia

    Aafia Khalid from United Kingdom

    As-salāmu ʿalaykum My name is Aafia Khalid. I am from Egypt, living currently in Leeds with my parents. I am here to explore more about Islam & to share my knowledge where I can. I hope the whole community is here to support each others. May Allah SWT guide us to the right path.
  2. 2 points
    AROwnen

    New Muslim Area

    I am the longest running new Muslim on the planet, I think.. though I've been Muslim for ten years, my newness ( yes, I am aware that's not a word) is evident to anyone who claims Islam. As such, it was suggested that I make a thread for new Muslims. This desire to address some of the common problems being new is confounded by several issues. The main one is that I'm white and male. Unless you are white and male, my particular issues may seem to not have anything to do with you, if you are a new Muslim. However, the point is for you to describe your particular issues or questions and concerns. I'll describe mine, along with some general observations. 1. It's not a club. You won't be invited to parties, meet cute girls or be there center of attention. There are no secret handshakes, cool clothes and people outside of Islam will not think highly of you. You won't get promoted. Get tickets to the game or discounts at the grocery store. 2. If you're white, you're participating in a racist society. You may not think you're racist ( you are) but no one will care about that. It's a brown world. Don't be afraid. Just smile and nod. 3. The only people who are respected in any Islamic group are the ones that are smart. If you're not a studious person, you're on your own. It's all language and reading. 4. You're going to make mistakes. A lot of them. Relax. 5. Salafis are awesome, until they're not. Then they're a pain. Just smile and don't argue. You'll be there all night. 6. You don't have to dress like a North African, Pakistani, Arabic person. Be modest. Be comfortable. 7. Men rule in Islam. If you can't deal with that then you have problems.. however, they cannot be tyrants. Don't be a tyrant in your house. It's ugly and unnecessary. 8 A really famous guy said that Islam is like a clear running stream, that takes on the color of whatever it flows over. I liked this. That's all about that really. Be yourself and you'll be washed clean and pretty. Unless you're mud. But mud is good too. 9. Don't get confused too much about Muhammad (pbuh), and the nature of predetermined fate. It'll seem that many of your brothers and sisters worship him. I can't say that they don't but I can't say they do. It confuses me still. The other, seems to be the go to answer for everything. It's not. Or maybe it is. See? Confused. 10. Keep trying. Fake it if you can't feel it. Keep trying. Allah cares not about time. Allah is never late. Just keep trying. 11. It's all about your worship of Allah. Your relationship with the Lord of Mercy. Nothing else matters.
  3. 2 points
    limitofx

    New Muslim Area

    As long as you don't go around saying"Let's go hunt some murtads", you should be fine. Was a good post then people came along and ruined it. stick to the topic folks.
  4. 2 points
    cubster

    New Muslim Area

    I thought you meant you were passed up on promotions because of religion, my bad. Your past isn't anybody's business but your own and people shouldn't stick their noses where it doesn't belong. It's not as though Muslims don't have sins or engage in behaviours that non-Muslims do. This makes me mad when it happens! Do some Muslims think about reverts like this? That they're attention seeking or a little crazy? I've read many a story about reverts who feel lonely, almost like once the nuance of the conversion story wears off and the next revert comes along they get abandoned and there isn't always a strong community to help reverts out and keep them involved in community practices and so on. I think that's really sad. Islam is supposed to be a religion about unity but it's not practiced like that. As I said, I had worse experiences with the brown Muslims growing up more than anyone else and never really felt part of a Muslim community, until I came to MM lol
  5. 2 points
    AROwnen

    New Muslim Area

    The idea of being moody or emotional as a woman's perview is extremely sexist. It's human and honest to be both emotional and insecure AND smart and strong. Men and women have different traits to compliment each other, like a dove tail joint. The idea of a silent obedient wife is as ridiculous as a man whose always wise and strong. They are ideals that are presented in our childhood myths, but are not realistic. And I don't trust overly religious people. There's a dishonesty to that I think. Something bad, hidden in them. A secret shame. I've tried over the years to find the ideal mate. I've fallen in love. Often it seems. I love failing in love. I love being in love. But we grow. Often in different directions and the world, now, is so rapidly changing. My grandparents world was so much slower in all things that a couple could grow together in a life time so that estrangement happened, but they were elderly by that time and it was no longer important. My parents' generation was a faster world so the estrangement happened quicker and mine again quicker. Yours? I can't imagine.
  6. 2 points
    AROwnen

    New Muslim Area

    I think finding my identity as a Muslim has been the biggest challenge. I didn't suddenly become smart enough to read esoterica ad nauseum related to what other's thought of Islam. I didn't become a calm wise man. I am becoming. I don't know what. Different than I was. Allah never stops. Ever.
  7. 2 points
    AROwnen

    New Muslim Area

    I've been to the dentist, thank you. At least update my photo. Go Dawgs
  8. 2 points
    Haku

    New Muslim Area

    Brown Muslims have seen a lot of white converts but they usually come from cities and are liberal. I think you are a rare specimen in that coming from mid West.
  9. 2 points
    Breeze

    New Muslim Area

    I grew up with white racism, from the age of 4 a kid shouted a racist slur when I was at a bday party. I think many Muslims have already been through Islamophobia and racism that were more understanding towards it and tend to look beyond that. Yeah, you can't look Pakistani and don't have to be one. I found the Western culture is not a collectivist culture but there's a lot of unhappiness because it largely depends on your social circle. It's very individualistic and be yourself idea, when 'you' are always going to change. The person I was a month ago, isn't the same and after marriage, I wouldn't be the same person either. I think we should accept everyone as they are, like you said. For the record, a New Muslims experience isn't that different to a Muslims experience, we've experienced it for longer. I find that I go in and out of guidance as circumstances change and imaan gets shaky. It's hard for me to be accepted as well as white people don't get me and many brown people don't understand why I don't talk like them and do what they do. I just find a middle way that I'm comfortable with and that's better for me. I have an aunts who chose to wear hijab after marriage and one that didn't because she didn't want to wear it on her face or was brave enough to. It's their choice.
  10. 2 points
    AROwnen

    New Muslim Area

    It might be like that in NYC. The race issue is important I think here more than anywhere. Racism is intrinsic in white culture here. No escaping it. White guilt over things that occurr now and things that occurred in our past. Also white fragility- not willing to see the racism without taking it personally. The reaction can be to immerse oneself in another culture to be "them" and accepted is a temptation. Like I said, this may be just me but it's an issue. I didn't and don't want my faith to be based on wether or not I look Pakistani or foreign of any group. I want to be American and figure out how to be Muslim in that context. I love my culture though it doesn't always love me back.
  11. 1 point
    Breeze

    New Muslim Area

    What is a murtad?
  12. 1 point
    limitofx

    Hello again

    "That's what she said" I am sorry but couldn't let this go to waste.
  13. 1 point
    AROwnen

    New Muslim Area

    I was referring to family and friends and even just casual aquaintences. America is a very competitive place, even socially, and ones place is never settled, always scrutinized by others. I do this too, often subconsciously. I think more so than other cultures. I don't feel that so much from other cultures- brown cultures? Lol. I feel something different then. Something from my own heart- I think. A Pakistani man came up to me Weds after Magrib and said he loved me. He barely spoke English. He had striking eyes and an asymmetrical face from some type of trauma, a jaw set wrong after a fracture and he was bigger than me and powerful strong. It was the most unique experience. I would like to see "Howl" rewritten for the generations after me. I wonder how it would read... how it would sound?
  14. 1 point
    Breeze

    New Muslim Area

    I suppose I'm weird because I take everything very slow. My sister jokes that I'm a lesbian as I have no interest in the opposite gender. I tell her you're not the first one to say that. Sometimes it's like being in a losing situation as there's no-one interesting and you're pressured into making allowances. I just tell them that I can't have kids with someone I have no interest in, unless they want a corpse.
  15. 1 point
    Breeze

    New Muslim Area

    You're not crazy, just different that's all. I get the same funny looks. I tell my parents that i can't marry someone really religious because I'm not that religious. Yes, I am interested to learn and listen to the Qu'ran & implement it, but i've always been far from perfect. I don't know how people can expect me to stay the same with the levels of imaan when in life they can fluctuate. I can change over time but where i am now, it's an internal jihad. Drugs and alcohol are a coping mechanism, I have my own coping mechanisms. Just wish I could meet someone who understands both realities, but that person isn't usually decent (ex issues and the lot). At the moment the guys I've met are like 'we want wife who wears hijab and is not moody.' Were very capable of wearing the hijab in this day and age. Also, if we aren't happy then we can become moody. I find it weird that men don't know how to handle a real women. It's like "woman, did I hear you speak?!" if they expect the stereotypical wife then they're looking in the wrong direction.
  16. 1 point
    Breeze

    New Muslim Area

    Owen, as long as you aren't a redneck, you should be alright!
  17. 1 point
    Haku

    New Muslim Area

    folks! We have to trend this!!
  18. 1 point
    cubster

    Cubster's Eating Records

    Bad eating day today. Haven't eaten my lunch yet and it's 5pm. My aunt sent scones too so I had a couple of those 😑 Going to walk it off this afternoon. I'm going to have a munch when I get home and walk around the complex. 2,5 times around is 1km so it's something I made the spelt flour roti and it was okay, just need to figure out how to not get it to come out hard.
  19. 1 point
    Haku

    Cubster's Eating Records

    or maybe he meant Glycemic Load, which is more relevant to controlling blood sugar. (because no one cares if you eat only a tiny piece of very high GI candy) Pasta is said to have low GL. https://www.verywellfit.com/low-glycemic-superfoods-3289497
  20. 1 point
    cubster

    Cubster's Eating Records

    Also very proud of myself. Have not bought a single meal from a takeaway this week! 💪
  21. 1 point
    Haku

    Cubster's Eating Records

  22. 1 point
    Haku

    Determinism and free will

    wasalam. here you go https://yaqeeninstitute.org/en/justin-parrott/reconciling-the-divine-decree-and-free-will-in-islam/ also check out its bibliography
  23. 1 point
    AROwnen

    Salaam alaykum from California

    Asalamalaikum! MashAllah! I'm from the left coast as well! Though I'm currently in the ATL area now. Yeah what's contemporary Muslim? ( Yeah I'm googling it. .)
  24. 1 point
    stevenpearce29

    Salaam alaykum from California

    Nice to meet everyone. How was everyone's Eid?
  25. 0 points
    AROwnen

    New Muslim Area

    The trouble is we look crazy to them. A lot of us are lonely. I know I am, chronically. So we may have looked at other things before Islam. This, then, looks like a pattern of attention seeking or just being odd. It's difficult to appear sincere when our pasts can say that we are not. Particularly when drugs and alcohol are involved in a person's coping past.
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