I grew up with white racism, from the age of 4 a kid shouted a racist slur when I was at a bday party. I think many Muslims have already been through Islamophobia and racism that were more understanding towards it and tend to look beyond that. Yeah, you can't look Pakistani and don't have to be one. I found the Western culture is not a collectivist culture but there's a lot of unhappiness because it largely depends on your social circle. It's very individualistic and be yourself idea, when 'you' are always going to change. The person I was a month ago, isn't the same and after marriage, I wouldn't be the same person either. I think we should accept everyone as they are, like you said. For the record, a New Muslims experience isn't that different to a Muslims experience, we've experienced it for longer. I find that I go in and out of guidance as circumstances change and imaan gets shaky. It's hard for me to be accepted as well as white people don't get me and many brown people don't understand why I don't talk like them and do what they do. I just find a middle way that I'm comfortable with and that's better for me. I have an aunts who chose to wear hijab after marriage and one that didn't because she didn't want to wear it on her face or was brave enough to. It's their choice.