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Everything posted by coconut_fob

  1. "How many Muslims does it take to screw in a light bulb?" "Dunno. It started off as two, but they argued over which bulb to put in the fixture. Now there are two sects, each with millions of followers worldwide; one sect who believed an incandescent should have gone in the fixture, while the other believed it should have been a compact fluorescent bulb." Saw this on a non-Muslim site, I think they were pokin' fun at us, but thinking 'bout it, it may be a bit true these days, we get divided over things we shouldn't, division created by not being patient & tolerant of one another.
  2. I was in Friday prayer the other day, and some guy's cell phone went off. But it was just the default ring tone, which made me think, what if he had something else, some other embarrassing ring tone like "Souljah boy"?? And what if there was like a 1000 people to hear it, how embarrassing would that be... So, my question to you guys is, with all the different ringtones out there and all you crazy kids with your music, what's the most embarrassing ring tone you ever heard go off in the the Masjid? And how many people were there? somebody should catch that on film, and then that brother/sister should be BANNED!
  3. this shouldn't be in the funny's thread.... cuz i really do hate 'em. why? say an international bank, that dealt in INTEREST (RIBA), wanted to enter a Muslim country. And stated in their business plan, that they had researched that their bank would help the country's economy. A Muslim president of that country would have 3 options: 1. Allow the bank in. 2. Say no. 3. Say yes, only if they change their system to become interest "free," If it was a progressive Muslim, they'd do #1, betraying the fundamentals of Islam. The best is #3, cause you try to maintain the progress of your country, and especially try to mainain the principles of Islam. But if #3 doesn't work you gotta do #2. the sect, "progressive Muslims," have the premisis of every decision for "PROGRESSION," which is wrong. Muslims should first consider the premis for every decision "THE PLEASURE OF ALLAH (SWT)", and then they may consider its effects (progress, etc.). If Progressive muslims goal is "progression," then why not start a Brothel Business? We won't be judged on how "progressive," we are on the day of judgement. Hamzah u with me bro? That's why i hate progressives.
  4. Assalamu-Alaikum, I'm not trying to divide us, but I think it's an imporant issue: Female Muslim Student Association President.... Is it allowed Islamically or not? I AM NOT TALKING ABOUT YOUR OWN VIEWS, or what "YOU," Think is okay. I'm talking about the Islamic perspective, the final and only word. PLEASE provide Qu'raan/Hadiths or scholars view as a backup. Jazak'Allah
  5. Allied News November 21, 2007 Kanye West accepted Islam in a Washington, D.C. mosque. The rapper claimed his acquaintances, "Freeway," and "Mos Def," who are already practicting Muslims, influenced him greatly. Kanye said his conversion won't affect his music, as most Rapper converts. He said he'll continue to make provacative videos, have sex, drink, hit up the clubs, and have more sex. He's giving up bacon one day at a time. He has however contemplated a name change in case he's ever on a plane that terrorist hijack, quote "Yo if them n*ggas, try ta' highjack ma' a**, I can always pull out ma' ID and be like, yo, I'm one of y'all! Knaw' mean? That's just smart, that's just straight hustla, Louis Vutton!" On news of Kanye's conversion statement, designer Louis Vutton revoked Kanye's contract saying "I mean what if he starts a trend, and we have to start designing turbans, I mean, come on...." Kanye replied saying "Yo I don't care, it ain't nuthin' ta me, I'm #1, I been gettin' approached by designers ever since Lous Vutton left me." Note Allied News did check Kanye's claim on this, and found no evidence. Analyst say Kanye's sales have yet to drop in the U.S. since the news, but may increase in other places such as UAE, Pakistan, and Indonesia. Kanye has been contemplating the name "Khalil West," or "Khalil Wes-Saeed," as in "West Side," but local DC Imam, Sheikh Ibrahim El-Kadri said the name should not be glamorous. Sheikh Ibrahim El-Kadri has been a Kanye West song ever since 'Jesus Walks,' "I use to bump that up Yani, vhen I go to za cruisin', people look at me like, who is dis brazar with tha big beard bobbin' his head, what? and Imam can't get jiggy wizzit? Yakhi please..." West also said if he found the religion to be difficult to integrate with music, he may leave to Judaism. "Hey after all Madona did it, and this ain't Saudi, ain't nobody gona' chop my head or hand or whatever they do to apostates..." Rutgers
  6. weirdo!

    im off this site, this thing is for kids!

  7. coconut_fob


    wha di blood clot guy, ya dunn know, raas cleat... wha GWAAN
  8. coconut_fob


    that playboy & hijabees thread was bad...very bad..soryy!
  9. coconut_fob


    hey i got an idea for u, anybody who's good with this forum thing. Every city with a decent size Muslim population should have their own Muslim Community Forum, and you could start one. But it would have to be further divided for the bigger cities like Toronto (into smalle regions). Even if it has 10-20 people, that would be good. And say it was like a DUTY for them to meet. Volunteers could be divided into teams. There could be an EVENTS committy, responsible for marketing certain events to targeted audiences. A finance commity, for re-investing the Mosque's funds, and growing their capital. Do you know how effective this would be? How much Sawaab you'd get for being responsible for something like this. Take a step back for sec. How much impact does MM have? It does when we talk about serious issues, but when we're just Funny-boning around, not much. The forum i'm talking about would be designated for serious issues. For example if the city of London Ontario was in dire need of a new mosque. It would get all engineerins, contructors, contractors, on the forum, they could even have a tutoring session in a lab on how to use the forum for everybody. Then they could get everybody's email on the way out of Juma, their "Profiles," which would be a form, for the purpose of inputing their info into a computer system (their skils, eduactaion, address - so they know where the highest concentration of Muslims are...). This profile form would also be online, forward in emails, it objective would be to gain information about every Muslim in the city, so that an administator could look at the profiles and decide who to invite to the forum. I don't know about you, but in Canda, their's a huge technology-illiterate bunch of people running Muslim communities. They need to be taught. Whadya think? Lemme guess, your comment going to be negative? And yes I know Idea starts with I, i'm just lazy.
  10. I was thinkin' of starting a Playboy-type magazine for Muslims. It would feature sisters with Hijabs, and in their swimsuits, whose with me? Just kididng, was this a bad joke? Yeah its Ramadan too, and to top it off, I'm an MSA member? can u believe that, coconut fob is an MSA member? But I act so naughty... muhahahaha.....
  11. no offense i feel like u guys are all idiots, "those were all isolated incidents..." come on...how the hell are we going to cure a problem, when we cant even admit there is one....
  12. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHAHAHAHAH HAHAHAH your a 24 year old virgin ahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha ahahahahahahha ahhaha heehehehe ughhgghhg ummmmm..... im a 21 year old virgin....
  13. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHAHAHAHAH HAHAHAH your a 24 year old virgin ahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha ahahahahahahha ahhaha heehehehe ughhgghhg ummmmm..... im a 21 year old virgin....
  14. So how does it feel to live in the biggest terrorist nation? With not to mention a terrible health care system (watch Michael Moore's sicko) Oh by the way, why does America suckacrap? The only thing good about the States is the HALAL street platter you find in NY city, and the Annual ISNA conference, and Hamza Yusef, Yusef Estes (even though they dont like each other for sum dumb reason), Khalid Yasin, & Siraj Wahaj, The rest of it is pretty much like canada....except dumber.......much more dumberer......
  15. What's so funny? I don't find anything funny about Sahooks Bhalls. Actually what is funny is that the person above you hasn't got it yet. He'll be in the middle of class tomarrow pondering....and then all of a sudden "AHAHAHHAHA.....THAT COCONUT FOB!"
  16. Hey I remember you! Yeah I guess your right...but, what about these growing number of anti-hijaab incidents, and public opinion about the Hijaab in Canada? I thik its different in Ontario, than it is in more conservative provinces like Alberta, I feel people don't like the Hijab in Edmonton/Calgary at all, as well as they misunderstand us. I'm a guy, and i've been wearing the hijaab just for fun for the last 5 years. okay maybe i'm not. But even though there's a lot of Hijabeez in Western Canada, people look at them like immigrants who can't speak english, and if you read the newspapers, people will be like "they're in Canada, why do they still have those things on their head? (not everyone, but a big conservative population-the media sucks butt out here, radio, TV)" Can we depend on any type of secular constitution to defend/protect us? Or should we take initiatives regularly to ensure that they will?
  17. Yes i've seen that retarted right to freedom thing...I took a law class too! Section 3/15 or something... Everyone has the following fundamental freedoms: a) freedom of conscience and religion; freedom of thought, belief, opinion and expression, including freedom of the press and other media of communication; c) freedom of peaceful assembly; and d) freedom of association. It can also go against us, they can say whatever about our Religion, I think i'm gonna apply for that job in Saudi as the executioner for apostates....
  18. I had to bleep out more words that usual, just cause we have kids under the age of 5 here... I can say "weed' right? I mean type...(P.S. I've never done weed, I just liked this song) Hopefully i didn't miss any cuss words, i just basically replaced them all with !@#$% lol these guys are just funny to me, jumpin around on t.v. and stuff... (MY COMMENTS ARE IN BRACKETS) [Juicy J talking] Mane check this @$# out we was up in Chicago right With my !@#$% big hemp, you know what I'm saying? The !@#$% pass me a blunt Like smoke this !@#$% this some Bin Laden weed Y'all don't know nothing 'bout this !@#$%down south What the !@#$%is Bin Laden weed it's three different Kinds of weed all grown together that !@#$% some straight killer Them Chicago n!@#$% named that !@#$% Bin Laden mane some straight fie [chorus 4x's] Who got that hydro Who got that light green Who got that Bobby brown Who got that Laden weed [DJ Paul] I swear sometimes I got to get high to hang around my !@#$% Sometimes I feel like I got to get high to hang 'round !@#$% I know I speed it up on weed I slowed it down on snow 'Cause I seen so many !@#$% fall of that blow One day they got it all and ain't got !@#$% to show So I came to my natures I had to cut that !@#$% So know I'm feeling happy I'm on that binny Bin Laden And !@#$ is acting like they don't know what the !@#$% just happened My vision getting blurry I'm about to fall asleep Or am I dying I need to eat 'cause this some potent weed My life start flashing like holograms like right in front Of my own face I never felt this way on one blunt I see my son gaining life and my dad losing his And old girlfriends and !@#$% I shouldn't hung with The picture starting to fade it's getting hard to breathe I'm blacking out with no post up under my shirt and sleeve [Chorus 4x's] [Juicy J] Well since I'm on Bin Laden let me tell you a story 'Bout these three !@#$% rappers who couldn't do nothing for me Gave a whole lot of cheese said I !@#$% him his !@#$% Smoked a whole lot of weed so he seem to forget Who bought trunks and your cars gave you !@#$% and !@#$% Who told you !@#$ to take a bath when you thought you was raw Mane I tell you he a killer when we talk on the phone When you see him face to face he'll leave you alone That's why I'm smoking on this !@#$ Bin Laden All my !@#$ in the hood they got it Take one little puff you're addict Take a gun to the head means tragic Boy I tell you like this we can smoke it anywhere In front of police station with a six pack of beer (SHOULD I HAVE REPLACED BEER WITH !@#$????) Seven A.M. in the morning just watching people stare Let 'em point them damn (I GUESS DIS WORDS OK) fingers say they wild over there [Chorus 4x's] [Lord Infamous] Ey ey it's glowing like it's indigo I smell it through the bag I'm floating like a magic carpet straight from Baghdad* From my brains from my blood from my lungs from the dutches Can't just let this reefer just escape from my a conscious 'Cause it's the substance I'm loving I'm buzzing Smoking like a narven huffing and puffing Came from the Indonesia, Colombian or kaliman Or it's by the welfare straight from the taliban (HEY LOOK, HE MENTIONED INDONESIA, THATS A PREDOMINANTLY MUSLIM COUNTRY, OH NO WAIT, THATS SUPPOSED TO BE ENDO-NESIA...NEVER MIND) *(WOW 36 MAFIA KNOWS WHERE BAGDAD IS, NOW WE KNOW WE'RE NOT DEALING WITH SOME IGNORANT BROTHERS) Yeah this songs vulgar without the !@#$ or with it...lol rap music is bad for u
  19. I'm not sure where this place is cause I'm from canada, but I heard a lot about this tourist attraction in the U.S. This Canadian came up to me and said "America Sahooks Bhalls!" Anybody know what state that's in?
  20. I'm gonna try to say this with all due respect.... (Hmmmm.....how should I say this.....ah well, in the end we'll all be offended by this......) Your attitude is terrible (not you're specifically, but that KIND of attitude that i prominant among Muslims, including myself.) You walk around like little Red Riding Hood, prancing around, singing songs, like everything is "A-Okay." LOOK AT THE NETHERLANDS. Just go do your research before you reply back to this thread. You want an example of a All-Liberal, All-Multi-cultural, socieity, there you go. How about Denmark? Now wait....FRANCE??? France has how many MILLIONS of Muslims again? THese European countries are so liberal you could have s*x in public and nobody would care. To say something like "ah it's all good, I'm canadian, I was born here, Canadians are my friend, they love me, and I love them, and hockey...." I mean, it's like walking around a jungle full of lions. Sure those lions were once small cats, that you could pet, now there's more of them, and more of you, and they're hungry, and ....Okay bad example...... What I'm saying is: There's nothing wrong with being of the SAFE side, which is spreading knowledge of the Hijab, what's the harm in that anyways? Yes one benefactor of that would be to lessen Islamophobia. Let' just say this, I know the hijaab will be banned in Canada one day, and I know Muslims will be persecuted one day also. I just don't know when, or how long that's going to take. I don't think we should be on the DEFENSIVE and hostile, and make all these demands like "We're in a liberal society, we have the right to freedom, right to this, that...." Because I don't think we should be seeking protection from NON-MUSIMS We all know Who gives us PROTECTION..... that's all my trying to say, we should at least be prepared, and not pretend to act, oblivious, STUPID, to the threat of Islamophobes.... Today it's spray painting on Mosque's, tomarrow it's a bunch of redneck shooting some hijaabi women and her kid, didn't that happen in the states? (THESE THINGS DONT JUST HAPPEN, THEY HAPPEN CUZ PPL LIKE US DONT GET ORGANIZED....) Jews learned from the holocaust, I think we should too, before a "holocaust" happens to us, and don't say that's impossible, the U.S. government, has taken over 100,000 overseas, in exchange for 3000 Take a class called "war in the modern world" or a political science course you'll end up trusting your beloved government less, I assure you..... HERE watch this:
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