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miss M

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About miss M

  • Rank
    Not so new
  • Birthday 09/14/1978

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  • Interests
    My family (especially my children Mashaallah!), chatting with my friends, reading....... and just trying to appreciate life and its wonders really!
  1. Happy B'Day! and...

    Eid Mubarak ! عيــــــد مبــارك

  2. Happy Birthday in advance. :)

  3. miss M

    Need help

    I forgot for girls: Iman and Kanzah (hidden treasure) For boys : Ilyas and Idriss
  4. miss M

    Need help

    Amani Ibtissam Amel Samiya and of course Asiya (my little girl's name) I love the meaning "the one who cares for the weak" For boys : Bilal, Laith, Samy
  5. miss M

    Need help

    My daughter's name is Asiyah
  6. Thank you for ur kind words about my brother, Insha'allah he is in a better place I really hope ur going to find a way to better sleeping nights Insha'Allah.
  7. miss M

    Unconsumed marriage

    Asallamu Alaikum, thank you for the advice. I will try to get in touch with my friend.
  8. Sallam, I think you should carry on following the advices that you were given (praying before going to bed, wait until you are tired before you go to sleep....) I feel from your message, that your problems are more that just stress. Try (if u can)not to talk about these problems before bedtime and avoid stressful situations. Try to have enjoyable time with your family or friends before u hit the pillow. I know its not easy, it reminds me of how I was when I lost my brother 11 years ago (he was only 21)! For about 2 years after he died, I just couldn't sleep (especially that we never had the chance to grieve for him properly as it was very complicated: we never buried him and never had any real proof of his death), I used to stay awake just talking with family and drink tea!! I didn't have nightmares though or couldn't remember them as I was mentally exhausted!! Unfortunately, in these situations, time only can heel!(if I am not talking abt prayers here it's because I was not Muslim at the time, I convert a few years after) Give urself time, u will never be able to sort everything out in one night! Also, may I ask you if u remember your nightmares? Are they actually related to your problems?
  9. miss M

    Unconsumed marriage

    Sallaam to all, it's miss M again. My friend wasn't comfortable enough to go to the mosque yesterday to talk to an Imam. I'm guessing she is still torn between doing the right thing for herself and the right thing to do by her parents (which is very hard!) This situation has really let me wandering about my role as her friend....Is it really my place to contribute to her ultimate decision or should I just let her come to me to discuss it? I think it would be better for me not to try to "push" her so much(I don't believe I am being pushy with her but I do ask her how she is feeling abt it and where she's at in her thinking!)and let her reach a decision without my contribution. When she eventually reach a decision (whether it is to remain married or to ask for a divorce) I will be there for her Insha'Allah. Thank you again to all the advices.
  10. *Hi5* sisterwho your "lecture" is more an advice than a lesson...I like your way of saying things! And MM members: Sisterwho is sending the right message here so let's fix up!!
  11. miss M

    Unconsumed marriage

    I suppose that unfortunately lots of people might be in the same sort of situation without knowing who to turn to or what would be the best decision to take.
  12. miss M

    Unconsumed marriage

    Thank you for your kind words. I totaly agree with you that divorce is a heavy matter, and I think I can honestly say that my friend does not take this lightly either, which is why I want to help her. Believe that I wouldn't help anyone who took the divorce lightly! Marriage (to me) is a sacred establishment which shouldn't be broken unless you have very good reasons. Sallam and thank you again
  13. miss M

    Unconsumed marriage

    Yes I found in my readings a very similar story about the case of Bint Qais who brought her case to the Prophet saying that she had not seen anything wrong with her husband, but that she had not liked him from the beginning of their marriage and that she was afraid of being unfaithful in the marriage. The Prophet asked her if he had given her any dowry at the time of the marriage. She replied that she had been given an orchard which the Prophet asked her to return to him. Then the Prophet persuaded him to divorce her on the grounds of incompatibility.
  14. miss M

    Unconsumed marriage

    Asallamu Alaikum, I totaly agree with you that it is her life and ultimately her decision, and it has nothing to do with her family (with all due respect to them!). I do not agree with them making her feel ashamed of wanting a better life for herself. surely as parents, one would think that they would want the best for HER not THEM. Thank you for your finding as it is exactly what I was looking for. After much research, I also found out that The Holy Qu'ran permits a wife to ask her husband for divorce if she fears desertion by him (as he left the family home for so many years, I'm guessing that covers it) and also that Khul would actually be "easier" (not that I am taking the matter lightly) because the mariage is Un-consummated : If there is no consummation, talaq is always irrevocable however many pronouncements. Her husband would only have to pronounce his will to divorce her once for them to be irrevocably divorced. Inshaallah, her husband will have the decency to grant her an amicable divorce so they can both move forward. Please believe that if I used the word "complex" in my initial enquiry, it's mainly because it is such a private and sensitive matter. Thanks again to all the comments and answers I have been sent here. It really helped me find more strengh in supporting my friend through this hard time.
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