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I've been thinking about weddings. i've been thinking about bad weddings. i've been thinking about good weddings. i've been behind the scenes of a wedding, and it's not very pretty.

 

i've been thinking about entertainment, the food, the seating arrangements, the music (or not), who will be invited, what to wear, where the bride and groom are gonna sit etc

 

i've also been thinking about having no wedding at all.

 

 

buffet? or a prepared meal per head?

 

night? or an afternoon wedding?

 

white dress? or a cultural dress?

 

 

what is your perfect wedding and why? what have you experienced that didn't turn out quite as planned which is something you would never repeat. please share so we can learn and have a wonderful wedding without blowing 10s and 100s of thousands of dollars on a distatrous wedding.

 

 

i have a few ideas.

 

basically im not a fan of a buffet. too much food goes to waste, and buffets usually mean helpers staying back and cleaning up in teh kitchen and trying to figure out what they are going to do with the leftovers.

 

i dont liek weddings stretched across 4 days. i think thats the best way to waste money, your guests need a new outfit for each night. you need a new outfit for each night. your guests buy you a gift for each occassion e.g. hens night, engagement night, nikkah, wedding reception, house warming gift. i mean seriously?

 

i dont want a dodgy creamy vanilla cake that no one is going to eat anyway. if you are gonna have a wedding cake and spend 100 dollars on it, you might as well appeal to the masses. chocolate never fails, so bloody well get a chocolate cake. i hate wedding cakes and i dont ever eat it because its usually vanilla sponge cake with vanilla cream and ugly jam. i wont ever turn down a banana mud cake or a chocolate mousse.

 

i like speeches. i want my friends to tell me how much they love me and what they are going to miss about our single days. funny, short and sweet. i've heard bad speeches, long windy ones full of similies and metaphors about love. i dont like those.

 

music? i like music except it's a bit controversial, so i'll probably have islamic nasheeds.

 

segregation? i dont know how far i would like to take it. i know some of my friends will not attend if boys and girls are in teh same room. i think i will stick to the one room with a huge 50m gap seperating the boys from the girls.

 

my wedding is my nikkah. im celebrating in one night. i am buying one dress. no one will be butting in and telling me what my wedding should be like. inshALLAH.

 

or i might have a walimah instead. except i havent even ever been to a proper walimah, ive only been to a wedding nikkah.

 

so.. what's your ideal wedding? what's important? let's learn from other peoples mistakes. what do you suggest? to the married ones: what would you do differently?

 

 

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for me, the wedding isn't that important. but life after the wedding is. i don't really have a 'dream wedding' in mind, but i definately won't spend that much time on planning it because it's easy to throw a wedding but it's hard to compromise with the same one person for the rest of your life.

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for me, the wedding isn't that important. but life after the wedding is. i don't really have a 'dream wedding' in mind, but i definately won't spend that much time on planning it because it's easy to throw a wedding but it's hard to compromise with the same one person for the rest of your life.

 

tottaly agree!!

 

- Dadi Jaan

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Guest Sister Who

an entire day for the wedding :o

 

No no no no, thats too long.

 

How long does it take the maulvi dude to read his bit and for the bride and groom to say "I do"? Thats about as long as the wedding should be.

 

I aint been to a wedding for 12-13 years now :| although i did go to a walima, 4 years back. It was so boring, you get dressed up and just sit there while other people take pictures, its so boring. Com'on now at least have a bouncy castle for the guests man.

 

And yes! im all for segregation, everyones all dolled up looking "attractive" and desi people seem to have this serious eye-condtion stupid-staring-problem syndrome. Too many wierdos doing stupid things, so yeah man its safer and much more fun if its segregated.

 

Any wedding that is goes on for more tehn 2 hours is sooo long man. Even 2 hours seems alot.

 

 

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i think a small wedding with friends and family and cousin etc is the best.good food,beautiful clothes

and what else is there need for?

i love evening summer weddings,half 6 till 8 or 9 say.the most important thing is the bride looking beautiful

for her guy (minus ugly cake make-up that so many people favour) and a nice send off....i mean,i doubt if Allahs

barakah comes down on huge weddings full of haramness.id rather have a small wedding and Allahs blessing

with a small marriage rather than a show for people and have Allahs anger.

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If your a desi parent listen to your children; they have some valuable ideas!!

 

My brother had a sheik at his wedding but seeing as there was about 300 desi women all in the same room we could hardly hear him; it wasn't very nice and i'm pretty sure he didn't feel very welcomed :(

 

 

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pshht a simple weddin would do no big fuss.. waste of money!!!.. as long as im marryin the man i love :wub:

 

(man did i jus say that.... :huh: )

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^ :lol: yeh sis you did.. my house was jam packed at all my bros and sisters weddings.. and oh the noise was horrendous.. and seeing hundreds of rotis spread out in the kitchen was one of the worse things i had ever seen at all 3 weddings :o

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Lets go Islamically...

 

This is your Nikkah. A Nikkah is a form of worship. Its a day when youre gonna start your married life. Im guessing here, that you want your marriage to be a happy one and according to the deen of Islam. So you got your big day, a day where you are looking to Allah to bless your marriage, the start strong point of your marriage, it decides everything else so you..

 

Well Id hope you wont have a sinful wedding. So you wont have music (have nasheeds if you like), try and make sure its segregated, because hey, girls are girls, and they arent all at the same Iman, neither are the boys. So girls dress up in hot outfits, boys gawk, and can you really blame then? I know they are meant to, but hey, they do...

 

So really the thing is, its your big day, where you want Allah's blessings (I hope), so you make sure no sin happens on your big day, you keep it as Islamic as possible, everything else is just...everything else..

 

:D

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^ :yes: true say bro... out of all the weddings i have been to they have all been segregated but the men just popped out from no where at odd times.. BUT.. some did have music really loud.. and sooo many girls didnt have scarves on and tarted up ( i hate people that do that).. i just wore my trainers and jubba to the weddings :D

But yeh it is a big day and you do get Allah's blessing.. what about Walimahs.. they are sunnah but many people tend to leave then out nowadays. how come?

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its all about putting up a show for people and competing.

and sometimes its ignorance.

a sunnah wedding without so much worthless spending has so much brilliance.

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I've been thinking about weddings. i've been thinking about bad weddings. i've been thinking about good weddings. i've been behind the scenes of a wedding, and it's not very pretty.

 

i've been thinking about entertainment, the food, the seating arrangements, the music (or not), who will be invited, what to wear, where the bride and groom are gonna sit etc

 

i've also been thinking about having no wedding at all.

buffet? or a prepared meal per head?

 

night? or an afternoon wedding?

 

white dress? or a cultural dress?

what is your perfect wedding and why? what have you experienced that didn't turn out quite as planned which is something you would never repeat. please share so we can learn and have a wonderful wedding without blowing 10s and 100s of thousands of dollars on a distatrous wedding.

i have a few ideas.

 

basically im not a fan of a buffet. too much food goes to waste, and buffets usually mean helpers staying back and cleaning up in teh kitchen and trying to figure out what they are going to do with the leftovers.

 

i dont liek weddings stretched across 4 days. i think thats the best way to waste money, your guests need a new outfit for each night. you need a new outfit for each night. your guests buy you a gift for each occassion e.g. hens night, engagement night, nikkah, wedding reception, house warming gift. i mean seriously?

 

i dont want a dodgy creamy vanilla cake that no one is going to eat anyway. if you are gonna have a wedding cake and spend 100 dollars on it, you might as well appeal to the masses. chocolate never fails, so bloody well get a chocolate cake. i hate wedding cakes and i dont ever eat it because its usually vanilla sponge cake with vanilla cream and ugly jam. i wont ever turn down a banana mud cake or a chocolate mousse.

 

i like speeches. i want my friends to tell me how much they love me and what they are going to miss about our single days. funny, short and sweet. i've heard bad speeches, long windy ones full of similies and metaphors about love. i dont like those.

 

music? i like music except it's a bit controversial, so i'll probably have islamic nasheeds.

 

segregation? i dont know how far i would like to take it. i know some of my friends will not attend if boys and girls are in teh same room. i think i will stick to the one room with a huge 50m gap seperating the boys from the girls.

 

my wedding is my nikkah. im celebrating in one night. i am buying one dress. no one will be butting in and telling me what my wedding should be like. inshALLAH.

 

or i might have a walimah instead. except i havent even ever been to a proper walimah, ive only been to a wedding nikkah.

 

so.. what's your ideal wedding? what's important? let's learn from other peoples mistakes. what do you suggest? to the married ones: what would you do differently?

 

 

hhmmm ive thought of this b4 to. lol an my freind ashly at school. she has her wedding planned out. bright green dresses or something like that. then she tells me ima make one special for u....aaww.i love her :wub:...

 

my dream wedding would be on the beach......an hmm not a white dress thats to normal i want a color dress.....i like bright green to it'll match my eyes.......or maybe blue.....oh well.

 

but i also wanna have a place just for the ladies where music blasting an their havin a good time......i want some thing wild. maybe i'll do that b4 the wedding then have the wedding on a beach....with lil candle girls....that sounds soooo western culture.....

 

thank god im only 17 whew...dont need to think about it for another 10 years......

 

planning a wedding i have an idea what thats gonna be like....not one bit fun.....i planned social events an although they can get very frustrating especially wen they cancel last minute.....i find them quite exhilaratingly....:)

 

an oh yes defiantly no one is gonna tell me wat my wedding is gonna be like.....inshallah...

 

its all about putting up a show for people and competing.

and sometimes its ignorance.

a sunnah wedding without so much worthless spending has so much brilliance.

 

yea true thats another thing that hits me wen i think of all the glamor i wanna add.....so inshallah we'll see...

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^Wow, mashAllah, you guys have such wicked plans.

 

Ive always thought you shouldnt plan your wedding too much, because if it turns out differently you would feel upset and not appreciate the day for what it was.

 

Being a girl however, ive kept a few ideas in mind for my wedding.

Firstly, ive always been fond of the idea of having the engagement party at your house, or the guys but preferably mine, because i have my room and my sisters can get me ready and stuff.

Also, i think i would have my wedding mixed-not segregated. Mainly because i want to be with my husband throughout the whole ceremony.

The girl dressing up and partying is for the henna/mehndi night methinks.

I would have a harpist or a string quartet to play at the wedding. I'd keep my wedding really formal and classy. And then later in the night, bring out the darbekah and let the men do the arabic dabke and bring out the bhangra, for the girls entertainment. :shifty:

Most weddings i go to, the bride and groom do a small dance together, but i'd leave that part out, i'm a bit more conservative.

I even already have a hall picked out that i like. Its a resturant that overlooks Brighton le sands beach, in Sydney.

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thank god im only 17 whew...dont need to think about it for another 10 years

 

Erm, are you really gonna find a husband at 27, or is this the guy youve dated for 5 years that youre going to marry? ;)

 

i'm a bit more conservative.

 

:lol:

 

Yeah, that is probably the most conservative wedding I have ever heardx of in my life...

 

:D

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