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Adopting/Fostering Children

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But Islamically she is the guardian and not the parent of the child, therefore it is not really a family unit but a special relationship between her and the child.

 

Right I see.

 

I'm not sure that it would still feel right to me, especially if I adopted a child at a young age. They would obviously be in my care for a number of years and I think they would need a father figure. Whether that came from say, my dad, would that be enough?

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Right I see.

 

I'm not sure that it would still feel right to me, especially if I adopted a child at a young age. They would obviously be in my care for a number of years and I think they would need a father figure. Whether that came from say, my dad, would that be enough?

 

Many people whose father figures aren't around rely on others in the family and in the community to be male role models, such as a grandfather, an uncle, a family friend, someone from their religious congregation, teachers and even doctors. Some people rely on an older brother figure to be their male role model, real brother or not. For example my cousin is like an older brother to me just because we talk so often and spent alot of time together.

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Do you think it would be fair to the child to raise him without a father? Aren't the roles of a mother and father, and how a family unit should be, strongly stressed in Islam?

To add on from what Mo and Mujahid have stated,

I can be both, the mother and the father: but if the little boy needs to be with men,

then my brother and father who I’m very close will be here for him,

so Al-hamdoulilah he will not miss out from having men’s company.

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I have read for a woman to induce breastfeeding independantly without the use of a chemical stimulant it is quite difficult.

I think however, the most difficult scenario would be a single man adopting/fostering a girl, but it would be a unique relationship they share with no doubt, imagine sitting at a dinner table to someone you raised from them being an infant and that they have to wear a hijab infront of you. Mind blowing complicity.

True! + Vice versa,

How hard it would be for a woman to up bring him and then having to fully cover in front of him,

when she saw and got him so little…

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True! + Vice versa,

How hard it would be for a woman to up bring him and then having to fully cover in front of him,

when she saw and got him so little…

 

Yes indeed it would had she chose not to breastfeed, but the woman can breastfeed the child at the early age, but the male-daughter relationship has no possibility of the man becoming a Mahrem to the girl if he is a single male, unless his mother breastfeeds the girl in which he becomes Islamically his sister.

 

Wow this topic is actually a very deep one Islamically, I did not consider the difficulties that could arise when I first posted this topic. It is very interesting.

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Yes it is, true, but don’t you think it would be weird for a man to up bring a little girl?

It would be much better for him to adopt a little boy if he is not married.

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My aunt+uncle wanted a daughter after having all boys but where they live, adoption isn't legal. So my aunt's sister gave one of her daughters to my Uncle+Aunt (I think they are her legal guardians by law maybe). The girl knows who her real family is and knows that our Aunt+Uncle aren't her biological family but she calls both family her own and calls them Mom, Dad, etc. They visit each other all the time. She has the option as well to leave them at any point and live with her biological family.

As for the mahram problem, it doesn't exist for them because the family isn't religious to the point where they observe gender segregation.

 

That's interesting. Would you ever give your children to your family/friends?

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My aunt+uncle wanted a daughter after having all boys but where they live, adoption isn't legal. So my aunt's sister gave one of her daughters to my Uncle+Aunt (I think they are her legal guardians by law maybe). The girl knows who her real family is and knows that our Aunt+Uncle aren't her biological family but she calls both family her own and calls them Mom, Dad, etc. They visit each other all the time. She has the option as well to leave them at any point and live with her biological family.

As for the mahram problem, it doesn't exist for them because the family isn't religious to the point where they observe gender segregation.

 

*poof*

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why would it be weird?

unless you're talking about when she reaches puberty and him not being her mahram becomes an issue?

Because girls are not easy. I see myself with my nephews and niece its very different the way I have to behave towards each. My niece very sensible and soft, where as my nephew I can play anything with him…It would be hard for a man to deal with a girl and understand her…In my opinion.

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That's interesting. Would you ever give your children to your family/friends?

I personally wouldn't. I still don't know how she did it. I can never ever do it, honestly.

 

 

*quote removed on request*

 

Awwww!!! I told my parents to adopt a baby, too, but we were enough for them.

Yah man, it's kinda tough for both families when you can't permanently keep the baby,

and imagine how difficult it is to give up a child.

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Awwww!!! I told my parents to adopt a baby, too, but we were enough for them.

Yah man, it's kinda tough for both families when you can't permanently keep the baby,

and imagine how difficult it is to give up a child.

 

*poof*

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Adopting as a single parent is harder in most countries.

 

Ps. One of my friends has 2 kids from his 1st marriage and 2 from his wife's first marriage and its always interesting how the kids from the first marriage interact with the rest.

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I had a thread once about procreation. People didn't get it.

Anyway.

 

I don't think it's a big deal. If you visit an orphanage an meet someone, or if (and this is likely in war torn and unstable countries) you learn of an orphan that needs to be taken care of, you go ahead and do it. If that's what you really want to do, then you have to put yourself out there, and inshallah you will be able to help nurture some children. When they're old enough, you let em fly.

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I doubt,

I would have to be pregnant in order to breast feed, I want to adopt before I think of having any kids,

and if I’m not married when I adopt I would have to make sacrifices once he attains puberty.

 

Bad idea and kind of selfish... and unrealistic.

 

My thought is that unless a Muslimah can breast feed the child, adoption would be rather problematic given the expectations of adopted parents in the West.

 

There are other ways to help orphans though.

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