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Adopting/Fostering Children

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There are other ways to help orphans though.

X10000

 

Taking kids from overseas/war torn countries is highly problematic in that they will be isolated from their own culture.

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X10000

 

Taking kids from overseas/war torn countries is highly problematic in that they will be isolated from their own culture.

 

I've always thought if I adopted someone from a different country their country would be my yearly holiday destination so that both they and myself learn their culture, and if they had surviving relatives I'd send the relatives money and take them to visit the relatives say fellow member of their tribe or uncle.

 

I know how important culture is because my mum, although being European, ensured I visited all my roots and even took me to learn Arabic fluently, for that I can never repay her, she understood this because her mum never taught her mothertongue to her and my mum could not even say 'I love you' to her grandmother.

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Nowadays (in the Western world) you see families where both parents are working but they just about make enough for the family.

 

Now if we decided to adopt kids as single parents, how would we go about earning enough as well as looking after the child?

 

Would it be unfair to have the child looked after by other people?

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Bad idea and kind of selfish... and unrealistic.

 

My thought is that unless a Muslimah can breast feed the child, adoption would be rather problematic given the expectations of adopted parents in the West.

 

There are other ways to help orphans though.

 

How is it selfish? Wouldn’t you think having your own kids would be selfish when so many little ones need a parent?

How would it be ‘problematic?’

Yes they are but I want to adopt, it does not mean that I will not care about the others,

but since I may or may not marry, I do not want to wait around, I want to build a life.

To the kid it will not matter if one does not want to breast feed, since all he needs would be stability!

Giving the chance to a little one to have a better life is not selfish, au contraire!

 

It's people like you who make life complicated!

when in reality life is pretty simple...

X10000

 

Taking kids from overseas/war torn countries is highly problematic in that they will be isolated from their own culture.

 

And pomak, that’s is not an issue since I will not be isolating the kid from his culture.

Like Mo said you can easily take the the kid to its natal country for holidays.

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And pomak, that’s is not an issue since I will not be isolating the kid from his culture.

Like Mo said you can easily take the the kid to its natal country for holidays.

*Native

 

Are you planning on speaking the same language?

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SoubhAllah! I really do not know why you guys are finding an issue with me adopting a little boy.

It shows where the ummahs concerns are, when in reality if you were very anxious you should

concentrate on other alarming matter which are in need of great attention!

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I may be naïve but I’m not an idiot, and yes to me your answer just shows how unwise you can be.

I’m planning to adopt one of a young age, so language would not be an issue.

 

SoubhAllah! I really do not know why you guys are finding an issue with me adopting a little boy.

It shows where the ummah’s concerns are, when in reality if you were very anxious you should

concentrate on other alarming matter which are in need of great attention!

 

Miss Smurf, Pomak wrote the word 'Native' as a correction to the incorrect spelling 'natal' which you posted :) And he is referring to language use in order for you to help preserve their culture.

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Miss Smurf, Pomak wrote the word 'Native' as a correction to the incorrect spelling 'natal' which you posted :)And he is referring to language use in order for you to help preserve their culture.

 

Smurf let me tell you two stories.

 

1. During the war in 'Nam(I won't mention who started that war :P) just before Sigon fell southern Vietnamese babies were actually airlifted out of the country and relocated to the countries that fought the war. those kids were infants at the time. they grew up being the only east asian kids at school and I am sure you know how kids deal with difference. Today they are going back to Nam to discover who they are.

 

2. I was born in my "native" country, I spent 10 years there, I have 2 parents and a sister and we have gone back to the country about once every 3 years but I am not recognized as being anything but an Australian while I am overthere and I can barely hold a conversation in my mother tongue. (I forgot how to write in the language maybe 5 years after migrating with my parents.

Now imagine if I was thrown into a family that does not speak my language nor do they follow a similar culture.

 

In English there is a saying, 'the road to hell is paved with good intentions'.

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oooppss,

Sorry pomak I miss read and natal is used in French as well as can be used in English,

so it is not 'incorrect'.

And Mo jazakAllah ukhair for that :)

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Smurf let me tell you two stories.

 

1. During the war in 'Nam(I won't mention who started that war :P) just before Sigon fell southern Vietnamese babies were actually airlifted out of the country and relocated to the countries that fought the war. those kids were infants at the time. they grew up being the only east asian kids at school and I am sure you know how kids deal with difference. Today they are going back to Nam to discover who they are.

 

2. I was born in my "native" country, I spent 10 years there, I have 2 parents and a sister and we have gone back to the country about once every 3 years but I am not recognized as being anything but an Australian while I am overthere and I can barely hold a conversation in my mother tongue. (I forgot how to write in the language maybe 5 years after migrating with my parents.

Now imagine if I was thrown into a family that does not speak my language nor do they follow a similar culture.

 

In English there is a saying, 'the road to hell is paved with good intentions'.

:lol: That is very honourable of you...

I understand and respect what you are saying,

But is that a really bad thing? Comparing to leaving the kid in misery?

There is options like getting him private tuition that way he can speak the language.

Let me tell you that my grandmother’s first language is Arabic,

My family and I travel often to many places and yet, I have been only once to my grandmother’s birth country.

My origin is Arab yet I do not speak Arabic fluently and have/know nothing cultural about it,

My mother’s first language is French (has been born in France) and her Her herself does not speak any Arabic.

 

Al hamdoulilah we have survived because these things do not matter as long as you have your religion.

Yes it would have been nice to know Arabic fluently but I could always study it,

so it’s not the end of the world…

I just think if that is an issue which stops people from adopting then that’s pretty sad…

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Natal works, too. Birth country.

 

You can help a child in an orphanage through money and support but it still isn't the same. They don't always get the one-on-one and medical attention most often needed.

 

Exactly :)

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Bad idea and kind of selfish... and unrealistic.

 

My thought is that unless a Muslimah can breast feed the child, adoption would be rather problematic given the expectations of adopted parents in the West.

 

There are other ways to help orphans though.

 

I agree. Being a single-parent is NEVER something you should voluntarily go into. It's fine for millionaire actresses, it's not something a Muslimah should be considering. It's all fine and dandy to say "people should mind their own business" re: "where did this child come from?" but that's not exactly reality. Especially because of how gossipy and judgmental Muslims are. It's unfair to the kid, and a single person adopting a baby seems more selfish than a couple having a baby of their own.

 

Adoption is complicated Islamically because of the mehrem issue, taking care of orphans in other ways seems better.

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you can sponsor orphans rather than adopt them; my school has a program for it. you pay about 1800 dhs yearly and the orphan of your choice, like the fees for their education and living and clothing and food and all that is covered in those 1800 dhs.

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