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So many issues here, so please indulge me in all and every insight!

 

It is a fact, Muslim children wait the longest to be adopted from the care system and are often settled into non Muslim homes for lack of Muslim carers coming forward. Recently in the UK, Somali Muslim girl was put with a white lesbian couple to the community's outrage: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2550317/White-lesbian-couple-allowed-adopt-three-year-old-Muslim-girl-against-wishes-family.html

 

What have your experiences- if anything- been with adoption?

At what points do the legal and Islamic practice if adoption clash/compliment one another?

Would you consider it as a serious option?

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A recent Islam Channel documentary series "Will you be my mummy and daddy?" is exploring these issues.

 

Abu Eesa Niamutullah recently stated that far from adoption being merely "permissible", it is one of the greatest communal obligations (fardh kifaya) of our time.

 

Private Muslim adoption agency has a lot of resources and information: http://myfosterchild.org.uk

 

And of course nursing a child under two (a minimum of 5 feeds) makes him/her mahram/"milk brother/sister" to every one in the family. This helps the "will I have to cover in front of my own adopted son?" dilemma- called mahram by radaa. http://www.greenprophet.com/2013/04/breastfeeding-islam-adoption/

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Funny story. When I was young, I really wanted a baby sister. I thought of it kind of like a pet. My dad just kind of thought it was funny so he played along with it. When I got home and asked my mother, she obviously said no. My response: "That's so unfair! Dad said I can have two and you won't even let me have one!"

 

*Sounds like something an obnoxious kid would say, I know, but I swear I wasn't. I just really wanted that baby pe...I mean sister.

 

Also, my parents were at one point a few years ago really considering becoming foster parents. We went to these bi-weekly classes for awhile at some Jewish organization. It never ended up happening though, but I would definitely consider it when I'm older.

 

A few of my friends are adopted. One of them went back to meet his biological mother in his home-country. She had him while she was a prostitute, so when he came, she was very thrown off because her husband didn't know about her past. But now he keeps in touch with her and his half-brother, but he still feels way more emotionally connected with his adoptive parents.

 

Also, once my aunt jokingly told my brother and I that we were adopted -- which is semi-ridiculous since I look exactly like my father, according to most sources. But yeah, we believed that for a long time. We were young obviously.

 

These are all only half-relevant, but they answer the first question I guess? Also, this just has to be linked here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O7why8Xo_RQ

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Abu Eesa Niamutullah recently stated that far from adoption being merely "permissible", it is one of the greatest communal obligations (fardh kifaya) of our time.

 

Did he say what he meant by this though? How would he respond to "covering" dilemma mentioned below?

 

Private Muslim adoption agency has a lot of resources and information: http://myfosterchild.org.uk

 

Foster is different from adoption though. I wonder how many Muslim foster programs there are. I've never heard of any in the U.S..

 

And of course nursing a child under two (a minimum of 5 feeds) makes him/her mahram/"milk brother/sister" to every one in the family. This helps the "will I have to cover in front of my own adopted son?" dilemma- called mahram by radaa. http://www.greenprophet.com/2013/04/breastfeeding-islam-adoption/

 

But is it really ideal to adopt a baby right after you've had one? And a lot of people adopt because they can't have children themselves, too.

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But is it really ideal to adopt a baby right after you've had one? And a lot of people adopt because they can't have children themselves, too.

 

Yeah, you'd have to already be breast-feeding in order to breastfeed an adopted child and make it mahram. So that makes it impossible for women who can't have children to make adopted children their mahram.

 

And what about kids older than 2?

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A recent Islam Channel documentary series "Will you be my mummy and daddy?" is exploring these issues.

 

Abu Eesa Niamutullah recently stated that far from adoption being merely "permissible", it is one of the greatest communal obligations (fardh kifaya) of our time.

 

Private Muslim adoption agency has a lot of resources and information: http://myfosterchild.org.uk

 

And of course nursing a child under two (a minimum of 5 feeds) makes him/her mahram/"milk brother/sister" to every one in the family. This helps the "will I have to cover in front of my own adopted son?" dilemma- called mahram by radaa. http://www.greenprophet.com/2013/04/breastfeeding-islam-adoption/

 

with regards to the radaa I believe reading a hadeeth where the person was older than two.

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But is it really ideal to adopt a baby right after you've had one? And a lot of people adopt because they can't have children themselves, too.

 

women can lactate even when not pregnant. it requires frequent stimulus of the mammary glands though. its called induced lactation.

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women can lactate even when not pregnant. it requires frequent stimulus of the mammary glands though. its called induced lactation.

 

I just googled this. I didn't know it was a thing. It sounds like a very time consuming and difficult commitment, but it's pretty awesome that it's possible!

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Regarding inducing lactation to make a child your mahram, does the child have to actually suckle it from the breast? Do they only become your mahram if you breastfeed them when they are babies? What about kids older than 2/3?

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My understanding is that it is generally older children (10+) which have the hardest times finding homes across all demographics. Unquestionably, this would be even moreso the case for Muslim kids. This then puts into Q the issue of mehramness, no?

 

Also, beyond adoptive families, generally Muslim communities desperately lack foster homes/families. Surely there are more kids in the foster system than up for adoption?

 

I mean, being a foster family or adoptive family is a lot of work. I have a very good friend who works in the area of care (in England) and she is regularly telling me stories about Muslim kids in care. Especially on days like Eid. Christmas is always celebrated but there is virtually noone who wants to sponsor, host, organize Eid celebrations. Seems like a simple place to start?

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I was going to say what Moslem has said, it's often older kids that have the problems finding somewhere to go. In which case the mahram thing would be an issue, especially if you have your own kids. How do people get around this when they foster/adopt older Muslim kids, or don't they do it?

There are also less foster families then there are people willing to adopt (from what a friend told me some time ago), which again means the older aged Muslim kids go to non Muslim families.

 

And the article about lactating was interesting, but I wonder if the UK you could go to your GP and ask for the medicine you need to be able to do it. I doubt it unfortunately.

 

I quite like the idea of a Muslim kids-in-care place where they can stay, until they find a family to go to. I don't know how this would happen or work though.

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I've been thinking of adopting for a while. Especially kids that are in their teens that need a helping hand to get them started in life. I mean, take what's going on in Syria. How many displaced?

 

But I dunno if I'd be a good example. Would def have to have an imam that can teach them Islam and such along with being able to provide an education. And it's also 100% dedication.

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I am probably not the best example since I don't wear hijab in front of all my non-mahram family members, but I wouldn't care about the whole mahram thing. I mean if you raise a kid from the time they're 4-5, do you really think that's going to be an issue?

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I just googled this. I didn't know it was a thing. It sounds like a very time consuming and difficult commitment, but it's pretty awesome that it's possible!

 

Read the link re: breast feeding to make a mahram, it is not for women who are already breast feeding. You can induce lactation without having ever been pregnant: http://www.babycenter.com/0_breastfeeding-an-adopted-baby_8482.bc

 

And yep, with giving the breast milk mixed with regular milk, a child over 2 can still be made your mahram.

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