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tiberius alexander

Religion as survival

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AsalamWalakum! Welcome TA! Man, i am sooo excited you're here! Ft Hood? I was stationed there too back in the 80's. If its an armpit, the army will find it , , and live there.. i was in from 83 to 90, never saw combat, traveled a bunch and am a nurse now. i worked for the VA too while in nursing school. I totally empathize with you on several points but obviously from different perspectives or paths, i guess. I wish i had had your imam when i started but that's just envy talking. I come from the bible belt and have been a loner for a long time. Im just now screwing up the courage to go to Masjid again. i never felt. I've been before but it was a small inner city place and i fit right in with the guys for morning prayers- (we were the Fajr five- lol) but im no longer there. There are some seriously educated folks here and some very wise people too. Im not, so i won't give much teaching yadayada. You have a family that prays with you? MashAllah! That is wonderful! Anyway, welcome, welcome----stay away from the candy van though,

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Welcome to the forums brother, al Salamu Alaykum.

 

We do have members on our forum who I am sure would be glad to talk to you regarding the specific nature of whatever is bothering you, IIRC several brothers here have served in the armed forces and we have a few reverted members too.

 

Your initial post echoes one of the most important Hadith's to me personally of the Prophet (PBUH):

 

"The World is a Prison of the Believer and a Paradise for the Kafir" - Muslim 5256

 

We as Muslims must seek refuge with Allah (SWT) to survive and maintain ourselves whilst we are here. A strong desire to serve only Allah (SWT) is a sign of a strong believer.

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Okay, this is not an easy topic for me to bring up, but I will.

 

Today, God revealed to me something that seems to have always been a part of me, but that I did not notice concsiously.

 

I realized that I was only serving God so that I could survive, i.e. not go to hell.

 

I realized that I don't care about other people, community, society, the world.

 

I realized that I don't care about rules, obligations, or responsibility.

 

I realized that deep down, I hate this life.

 

I can't even say that I know what love is anymore.

 

 

I have prayed and asked God to help me, I know I need some experience to help me overcome this.

 

I could really use some good advice.

 

Yes, I do have depression, and PTSD.

 

Welcome to the forums Tiberius :) Insha'Allah you have an enjoyable and fruitful stay on our humble pastures.

 

Like others have mentioned, I think the feelings related to mental health have to be distinguished from what you think are negative thoughts to do with religion and your purpose in life. I say this because- surprisingly- many people actually share some of the same observations about life- but are incredibly empowered and even upbeat about the knowledge they have. For example, we have narrations in hadith which state things like everything in this world is cursed save for the remembrance of God. Also that if everything in this life was even worth one wing of a mosquito in the sight of Allah, he wouldn't even 'give' it (to enjoy) to the oppressors/disbelievers.

 

Those statements sound- on the surface- incredibly negative and jaded, however there is a lot of spiritual strength we can draw from them when it comes to putting all our issues in life into perspective. In more than one way, religion is indeed survival. It is about the survival of our soul- keeping it nourished, in tact and functioning throughout this temporary physical phase we are currently is- looking after it and working hard on it so we can present it back to Allah in it's optimum state. Religion is survival for communities to prosper in a mutually vested and wholesome way- to raise generations who are aware and willing to effect positive change everywhere the opportunity arises.

 

Religion is survival- but not only survival against the Hell fire- but a means of 'surviving' this life and world. With support through depressive mental thoughts, there is a lot of beauty and depth in what Allah has laid out for us in this leg of the path- as a precursor of the joys awaiting the righteous in the Hereafter and as a means for us to remain grateful and steadfast too.

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