Jump to content
Maniac Muslim Forums
oxy.moron

Status and Responsibilities of Husband and Wife [split thread]

Recommended Posts

I also like the fact that some of the people arguing have never been in a relationship. Based on what I've read they have a better chance of surviving a suicide attack as a member of ISIS than getting along with the opposite sex.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Over and over again, I read and hear opinions of Muslims who seem to think they have a strain of Islam which is more pious than the Sahaba and earliest generations. They talk of women in the most restrictive exclusive role of wives/mothers only (or "most honourably), they enforce a hyper-gender segregation which would be unrecognisable to the early companions and they down play the colossal intellectual contribution which Muslim women (often childless) not only made not only to hadith literature- but to many scholarly pursuits in Islam historically.

 

Maybe we should remind ourselves of Umm Ammarah, a woman who single-handedly in a battlefield of MEN, defended the Prophet (salAllahu alayhi wa salam) from the swords of the Qur'aish so much so that he said "I only saw the back of her and the front of her, the back of her and the front of her" as she was literally spinning with her sword in battle to protect her Beloved.

 

Or perhaps we should read 'The Forgotten Heroines of Islam' series the now-online Al Jumuah magazine are running citing all the women who we historically seem to have no recollection of.

 

Or maybe even 'The Muhaddithaat'- the magnum opus from Shaykh Akram Nadwi (may Allah prolong his life with health and bless his pen even more. Ameen!) citing HUNDREDS of women who preserved traditions and spread the da'wah in a way which would leave us in awe today.

 

There was no question these women had all the same (many times more!) mental acumen than their male counterparts and at no point was their 'womanhood' considered a hindrance to the great public and intellectual contribution they made.

 

Some of these women were married. Some weren't. Some were mothers, others weren't. No doubt, the sacrifice of a mother is something beyond words but child-rearing both physically, emotionally and mentally requires TWO fully present and committed parents. The absence of an active father has as severe repercussions on sons and daughters as you can imagine- and we are warned in the strongest terms to 'save ourselves and our families from a fire whose fuel is men and stones'. Raising righteous children should never be a one-woman job or even a 'mother-centric' role. Not to sound patronising, but perhaps this is something that you can only fully appreciate when you have children and watch what they get out of the unique relationships with a male and female parent.

 

Anyway, enough with the isolated one-liner quotes which runs contrary to the holistic and wholesome contributions of men and women in the generation of the Companions- those closest to revelation and it's Source.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@ Zimarina: The main debate in this thread was more about the responsibilities between husbands and wives and who has a greater authority over the other (from a religious standpoint), and less about women's contributions and how the Sahabas treated them. Nonetheless, you enlightened us with some valuable and very agreeable comments. :thumbup:

I also like the fact that some of the people arguing have never been in a relationship.

 

True, I've never been in a relationship. However that is not because of my religious views and all, since I rarely ever express them to other people except on the internet. Rather it's mostly because I'm quiet, awkward and shy and perhaps not 'manly' enough for most women. But that's just my personality and I'm perfectly fine with it.

I know I'm a headache on the internet sometimes ... but in real life I'm like a poor little mouse.

 

 

:P

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

But, why?

 

We probably can't know for sure unless oxy herself shows up here and tells us why ...

 

She hasn't come back though. :(

 

 

...

 

 

fK6fSrh.jpg

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Nah, I mean that the question as to why this is has not been answered. For many things Islam provides a reason and a pretty clear reason at that. But this, there has not been a clear reason as to why men are better or whatever. We don't need oxy to come back for that.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Nah, I mean that the question as to why this is has not been answered.

 

Your question was way too short for me to understand that. But, I guess I should have asked for a clarification before responding.

 

For many things Islam provides a reason and a pretty clear reason at that.

 

And there are many things which Islam doesn't provide a clear reason to. For example, is there a definitive reason why Muslims during Hajj are supposed to go around the Kaaba 7 times? Why not 6 times, 9 times, or 20 times? Or why should we go around it counter-clockwise instead of clockwise? Of course, scholars may have their own theories and ideas regarding these questions, but there is no clear answer to them, as far as I know.

 

An even greater mystery is the so called "disjointed letters," or "muqatta'at."

 

https://www.google.com/?gws_rd=ssl#q=Muqatta%27at

 

But this, there has not been a clear reason as to why men are better or whatever.

 

Well, here is one possible justification for that, which I do think is a very rational one:

 

"It is obvious that, for any group-living, big or small, or for any organized system, it is rationally and customarily necessary that the group or system have some head or chief or authority so that he can arbitrate in the event of a difference and take decisions to run affairs smoothly. That such authority is needed in the running of countries, governments and states is universally accepted and practiced. This need, as felt in modern times, was also felt in the older tribal social organizations where the chief of a tribe was taken as the authority for that tribe. Why would a family organization, a micro-sample of the larger organizations, would not need someone to head, maintain and run the system? Of course, the need is there and Allah Almighty, in His infinite wisdom, elected men for this responsibility because their natural capabilities are more pronounced than those of women and children."

 

http://www.muftisays.com/blog/Seifeddine-M/2627_28-02-2012/surah-an.nisa,-34.35.html

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

This part of the article is also very much reasonable:

 

"Some commentators identify yet another hint here. According to them, this precedence men have over women is in terms of genus. As far as individuals are concerned, it is quite possible that a woman may excel a man in her qualities and practical accomplishments, so much so that a woman may be superior to some individual men even in the qualities of a care-taker."

 

http://www.muftisays.com/blog/Seifeddine-M/2627_28-02-2012/surah-an.nisa,-34.35.html

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I love this thread!!!!

 

@oxy,

 

Do you agree that societies were primarily patriarchal prior to Islam?

Do you think humans are ahistorical?

Is there socialization outside of - and despite - Islam?

And to what extent do you think Islam exists to create culture, to modify it, or to accommodate to it?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Stuff like this makes me question the claim that we are given "reasons" for ANYthing in Islam. I wonder how many of those reasons are created for fiqh purposes. It's not even a criticism. If God felt the need for a final prophet, surely He intended for some level of fallible human interpretation?

 

But what example is there - really - of a "good" reason for doing something Islamically, the likes of which one would want for gender roles?

 

The only reason, it seems to me, is to be closer to God. But the specific mechanics of ultimately trivial decisions and rules and roles - I can't think of a reason given. Some satisfy, but satisfaction varies.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...

×
×
  • Create New...