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Spider

The Psychology of Solitude

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hZTkMGHszQA

 

 

Transcript:

 

A lot of people fear solitude yet the great psychiatrist Winnicott said that the capacity for solitude is one of the greatest markers of psychological health. So if you can develop your capacity for solitude that means that you are okay being alone with yourself.

As Cal Newport who wrote the book Deep Work notes some of the most meaningful things we do in our life add unique value to the world that are not replicable as he puts it. Are operated under the conditions that are complete distraction free where we try to eliminate as much as possible that ringing, you know, from our phone that we have a new text or we have a new email or looking on Facebook and checking the likes. Disconnecting from the outside world as much as possible and get in a situation where we’re in complete solitude that we can get completely immersed and really follow through to completion something in a very deep way. He argues that is very conducive to a good life as well as a meaningful life.

It doesn’t mean because you’ve developed your capacity for solitude that you’re a misanthrope is what I want to say. It doesn’t mean that. That’s a false dichotomy. You can develop your capacity fully for optimal deep work but you can also develop your capacity to collaborate with others so that once you come up with ideas or generate things that are deep you can then share and get feedback and then go back. It’s a constant process, constant cyclical process where you go back and forth between getting feedback from the world and seeing what your sense of audience. It’s very important to know what your sense of audience, get a sense of your audience when you’re producing a creative work. But it’s also very important to have moments where you go into solitude and you embrace the beauty of silence.

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I just want to quickly mention an interesting point which is related to this topic - that our Prophet (PBUH) also used to like seclusion.

 

On one hand, we know that he used to spend a lot of time being with people and giving dawah and praying with them and so on. On the other hand, he also used to like being alone a lot of the time (during the last portions of the night especially) for the purpose of worship. We also know that before his first revelation he used to go to Cave Hira for extended periods. I didn't find any strong account of exactly how long and how often he used to go to that cave. Some sources say that he used to stay from around 3 to 7 days at a stretch, other sources say more than that. We also do not know exactly how he used to meditate or worship while he stayed there (see this). However, from all this we can be assured that solitude was something that our Prophet (SAW) liked very much.

 

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On 3/2/2017 at 6:18 PM, Spider said:

I just want to quickly mention an interesting point which is related to this topic - that our Prophet (PBUH) also used to like seclusion.

 
On one hand, we know that he used to spend a lot of time being with people and giving dawah and praying with them and so on. On the other hand, he also used to like being alone a lot of the time (during the last portions of the night especially) for the purpose of worship. We also know that before his first revelation he used to go to Cave Hira for extended periods. I didn't find any strong account of exactly how long and how often he used to go to that cave. Some sources say that he used to stay from around 3 to 7 days at a stretch, other sources say more than that. We also do not know exactly how he used to meditate or worship while he stayed there (see this). However, from all this we can be assured that solitude was something that our Prophet (SAW) liked very much.

 

Trying to use my knowledge of personality types to identify the Prophet's (pbuh). He seems more introverted than extroverted, although he could be both. It would be interesting to know how the Prophet SAW prayed, but I guess times have changed.

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On 3/2/2017 at 6:37 PM, JiyaheArt said:

He seems more introverted than extroverted, although he could be both.

 

I thought that also, but it's hard to tell.
 
Narrated Abu Sa'id Al-Khudri: "The Prophet was more shy than a virgin in her separate room. And if he saw a thing which he disliked, we would recognize that (feeling) in his face." (Sahih Bukhari)
 
Either way, it doesn't matter because his qualities and characteristics are the most exalted and unique, and that is what we should remember about him always.

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On 3/2/2017 at 9:01 PM, Spider said:

I thought that also, but it's hard to tell.

 
Narrated Abu Sa'id Al-Khudri: "The Prophet was more shy than a virgin in her separate room. And if he saw a thing which he disliked, we would recognize that (feeling) in his face." (Sahih Bukhari)
 
Either way, it doesn't matter because his qualities and characteristics are the most exalted and unique, and that is what we should remember about him always.

 

:lol: That's very characteristic of me & my immediate family. We find it hard to not show how we feel on our face, I think I'll send this to my family. We often get told that practically, we should not show our feelings as people never do. I always thought it was fake to show another feeling, but I understand that in certain situations like work it is important not to. Yet we need empathy to deal with situations, so it's ridiculous that emotions are not allowed in the workplace.

 

I've noticed Doctors (who think they know everything and recommend paracetamol like every brown person) they try to use "mirroring" to sympathise, but it's like yeah I know what you're doing, I closed my eyes for a bit and you just did that! They've been writing letters to each other saying that this young lady won't comply to our recommendations, well duh, give me a cutting edge medicine and maybe I will. Guess I'm a red flag with them. :ph34r:

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I have a pretty good capacity for solitude but I wouldn't say that I am psychologically healthy lol

What do we define psychologically healthy here? Aside from obvious lack of mental illness?

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I have a pretty good capacity for solitude but I wouldn't say that I am psychologically healthy lol

What do we define psychologically healthy here? Aside from obvious lack of mental illness?

 

They were just saying that the capacity for solitude is one of the markers of psychological health (and a critical one), but obviously there are numerous other factors. Too many to mention even. And of course, the capacity for solitude needs to be balanced with a good capacity for the exact opposite: socializing. Being too much isolated is obviously bad for you.

 

 

That said, I know exactly why you are psychologically unhealthy:

 

 

 

87I8c7b.gif

 

:P

 

 

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On 3/19/2017 at 3:48 PM, Spider said:

 

They were just saying that the capacity for solitude is one of the markers of psychological health (and a critical one), but obviously there are numerous other factors. Too many to mention even. And of course, the capacity for solitude needs to be balanced with a good capacity for the exact opposite: socializing. Being too much isolated is obviously bad for you.

 

 

That said, I know exactly why you are psychologically unhealthy:

 

 

 

 

87I8c7b.gif

 

:P

 

 

 

I agree. Balance is needed. I think, for me its important to be able to be alone with yourself and to know who you are. It helps you to stand your ground in matters and make clearer and more conscious decisions.

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