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Getting on a bit

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I had a long talk with my daughter the other day. I don't remember ever looking at the future with fear. I see the world as I saw the world. Huge, complex, beautiful and wildly open and unpredictable. She sees it that way but with one element I didn't have much of; fear. It colors everything now. Our news, media, games, politics, money, time all have the taint of fear. Silence is the thing we don't teach anymore. Boredom and routine are important skills to master, not the things to be avoided. If it is identified as a problem, listen to what it's telling you. There may be a fundamental change in need of movement .

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I had a long talk with my daughter the other day. I don't remember ever looking at the future with fear. I see the world as I saw the world. Huge, complex, beautiful and wildly open and unpredictable. She sees it that way but with one element I didn't have much of; fear. It colors everything now. Our news, media, games, politics, money, time all have the taint of fear. Silence is the thing we don't teach anymore. Boredom and routine are important skills to master, not the things to be avoided. If it is identified as a problem, listen to what it's telling you. There may be a fundamental change in need of movement .

 

Yes. As well as boredom and routine, we also need to master silence, stillness, switching off and being comfortable in our own company. Much of this 'fear' I feel is a hyper-saturated information overload culture, where stories of increasingly shocking and depraved origins come pouring out. So the "news, media, games, politics, money" etc all are real parts of our lives, but they are not the totality- or even important parts. We need to force a pull back from those consuming and troubled areas and recalibrate ourselves.

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No.

 

The world doesn't end when you graduate college (or uni), get a job, or become 30, or 40, or whatever makes you feel insecure.

 

Firstly, this is likely to be your most liked post on MM ever. My heartiest congratulations.

 

Secondly, what you said is one of the reasons I initially found this topic a bit confusing. It's feels like it's asking for an appraisal of your life/goals since it's now presumably....over? Or the important bits should be accomplished by now or a work in progress? What's missing is that every life-stage comes with it's own issues and opportunities- it's hard to 'evaluate' when everything is so constantly evolving in front of your eyes.

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The topic is just asking weather your life panned out as you imagined it would 5 years prior or something.

 

Over the past 3 years alot has changed. From my ideology to my career ambitions. This time last year I wanted nothing more to pursue a PhD and become a research scientist asap. Well now I want to put those ambitions on hold while I accumulate wealth from gaining a job in fianance or something. This is something I never wanted to do before at all. Even 4 months ago, I could do a masters specialising in particle physics. The city looked great and I was ready to do it. But at the last minute I took a more general degree in Physics. I don't want to be a particle physicist anymore, there's so many other cool areas like materials science or biophysics.

 

The second part of the question pertains to disappointment. Is there a goal you started but never achieved. Sometimes I reflect and think that I could be really good at boxing by now if I went to the gym every week. I told myself 2 years ago I would start boxing and be consistent with it. Instead what tends to happen is that I start boxing again with the intention that "this time is the time I stick with it" but I never do.

 

Still, I don't really regret it, by even boxing a little bit over two years my stance and technique is considerably better than a begginers.

 

It's not about your life being over and therefore you can't achieve goals... but sometimes I wish I could step back in time and do certian stuff all over again. I think some people took this thread the wrong way or got a bit defensive for no reason.

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I kind of feel like I'm too deep down in the trenches "life-ing" to be able to come up to surface level and take stock in a considered or meaningful way. Like sure I have a ton of plans and ambitions, I had some in the past which were realised, some that weren't- some unexpected things which diverted expectations etc.

 

 

As corny as it sounds, I really strongly believe in not having regrets or pondering on regrets to do with the past. Anything you feel regretful not doing, just do it now. If you're not motivated to do it now, then drop the whole idea and go with things which excite you enough for you to prioritise in your life.

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The topic is just asking weather your life panned out as you imagined it would 5 years prior or something.

 

Over the past 3 years alot has changed. From my ideology to my career ambitions. This time last year I wanted nothing more to pursue a PhD and become a research scientist asap. Well now I want to put those ambitions on hold while I accumulate wealth from gaining a job in fianance or something.

Your ideas and ambitions will constantly change. That's not a bad thing. I never believed 5 years ago I would be where I'm at doing what I do for a living. With that said, I had this job marked as a potential goal and that is something I believe would help you: have a list of potential job placements and the goals you need to achieve to gain the career path you want.

 

If you don't want to work in the field you focused on in school then by all means pursue your true passion but it's vastly important to define your end goal then simply thinking "in finance or something".

 

When you interview for jobs of any position your employer is going to want to ask you why you chose to apply for the job you're interviewing for; the more competitive the position the less bull sh*t they'll take. Saying something to the effect of "I chose this field because my true passion lies here and this position fulfills that passion and here's my history proving my track record" goes a lot further than "I feel like this is what I want right now".

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"I chose this field because my true passion lies here and this position fulfills that passion and here's my history proving my track record"

*Hiring manager smiles mockingly*

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So, I just realised that I joined MM almost 10 years ago, though I have not been an active member for the full duration.


Things have changed so much since 2006 and definitely not in a way that I had expected or planned. I spent many years in unemployment after my graduation and that certainly was not planned! No job meant financial instability and parents on my back about marriage. Things certainly weren't going to plan, but after a lot of patience and many years of trying, things eventually fell into place Alhamdulilah and I found an ideal job.


I got married three years ago and now have a two year old daughter Alhamdulilah. But, even when things go to plan, they don't go to plan. Unfortunately, my wife passed away soon after the birth of my daughter and now I'm juggling a full time job and being a single parent. No complaints though, my daughter is hard work but truly amazing masha'Allah. I am currently teaching her how to hold a PS4 controller with a view to have her playing FIFA 17 by the age of 4 (new plan). I'm also considering sending her to Taekwando classes.

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I thought this forum was full of Americans and Canadians but it looks like there are more British members.

Back in the early days, there were a lot of British members. Everyone seems to have disappeared now..

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spiderman :/

 

yes, it is so hard, I know how it feels at times

 

so sad and depressing

 

in sha Allah one day you'll get up in the morning and decide what you really want

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