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Spider

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Quote
"The unexamined life is not worth living."
- Socrates

 

Quote
"The unexemained MM life is not worth living."
- Spider
 
 
So in this light, here I am going to share with you guys my reflections about the forum's handy dandy "like" system. This is not a call to disable the feature yet, because first I want to illustrate my arguments and then hear what the rest of you have to say.
 
First, though, a quick flashback:
 
As some of you might remember, we used to have a "reputation" system for posts before it was replaced by the "likes." This was in place for a brief period as I recall. However, this addition was not well recieved by everyone. Some of the members objected to it, essentially arguing that the reputation system cultivates ego-stroking and so it would be better to take it off. Well, now we have "likes" instead.
 
In the beginning, I felt that the likes were an improvement over the reps (and I among others disapproved the rep system). But upon further experience, I find that the like system carries the same kind of problems that the rep system had: ego-stroking, competition, attention-seeking, bias against certain members, etc. The only difference is that the rep system used to reveal only the number (i.e. how many members repped your post) at the bottom corner of a post, whereas the like system removed this anonymity by showing us exactly who the members are that liked our posts.
 
That said, let's discuss what I really mean.
 
I agree that being able to like posts is good for certain reasons. It is a quick and almost effortless way to show your appreciation of a post. Sometimes you like a post because it made you laugh. Sometimes you do it out of courtesy. Sometimes it enables you to show your agreement with a member's post without having to get involved. Sometimes you can make yourself feel good by liking someone else's post. And so clearly it's a convenience for multiple reasons.
 
On the other hand, the likes come with potential problems, too, but the problems are hidden because members don't talk about them (except in rare cases which I shall quote in just a moment). Broadly, I think the problem is that the likes tend to make us speculate - either consciously or unconsciously - why someone 'liked' a post, how valuable the likes are, what other members are thinking, how genuine the likes are, and so on. These thoughts may ultimately produce tiny ego-strokes in us, which we might be unconsciously wanting. Or they may have an opposite and unwanted effect. These like-associated thoughts (even if imperceptibly fleeting) are bit of a distraction, and therefore could more or less reduce our ability to make a more sound appraisal of the content itself.
 
Naturally, some of you might tell me that you hardly care or that the likes are actually not a big deal at all, and this is likely to be true. Nevertheless, this being true doesn't negate the possibility that there are many of us (or maybe almost everyone here) who do feel personally provoked by the likes to some degree at least. This effect is possibly stronger for some when a popular or a respected member 'likes' a post, and is even stronger when a sister 'likes' a brother's post and vice versa.
 
And I say these things not by merely guessing what peoples' feelings are. Here are three real examples to prove my argument:
 
- In one post, Zimarina wrote this: "I am extremely offended Oxy has not liked my previous two posts." (link)
- Then in response to the above, Mufasa echoed the same: "I feel like that too sometimes. Like 'why hasn't oxy liked my post yet?? Did I do something wrong??'" (link)
- In another post, Zimarina had openly expressed her displeasure in the following manner: "Poxy, do you REALLY agree with and or endorse the sentiments expressed in THAT many MM posts?" (link)
 
The reason that I quoted those is not to draw attention only to Mufasa and Zimarina; I am just using those to make a broader argument, which is that potentially any member can have a similar level of reactivity to likes from time to time. They just won't show it, and so we won't know, unless we come across comments like the ones that I have quoted here.
 
So, I think that discussions on the forum would be more constructive and sincere if the "like" system was taken off. The likes in my opinion have created a more stifling atmosphere.
 
If there were no likes, then:
 
- All posts would be seen more according to their own merit.
- We would be less distracted by our gratification-seeking from others and by our unconscious intention-appraisal of others.
- We could post without thinking that maybe others are thinking that we are expecting to get liked.
- You won't ever think "Dang she didn't like my post, so maybe she thinks that my post isn't good enough."
- You won't ever think that someone intentionally didn't 'like' your post in order to indirectly offend you or as a result of what he or she thinks about you.
- You won't ever have to give a like just because you think that a poster might feel even slightly mad if you didn't.
 
All such useless and questionable thoughts would be gone from our heads.
 
What do you think?
 

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I just thought as likes as bookmarks to be honest.

Weird that people would seek gratification from people they don't really know wouldn't you say?

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I think you made this thread because you can't get likes.

 

The fact that you said that only supports my argument, which is that the like system somehow made you think that my intention for posting this thread lacked sincerity (with regards to the subject).

 

I do get likes, by the way. Quite often.

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Weird that people would seek gratification from people they don't really know wouldn't you say?

 

Hence we should get rid of it.

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Weird that people would seek gratification from people they don't really know wouldn't you say?

 

Don't h8 me coz u ain't me

 

I do get likes, by the way. Quite often.

 

LIESSSSSSSSSSSSSS

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Sounds like you two are trying to escape from making a clear point on the subject itself (and refuting what I said). Interesting ...

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I don't know Spider, you seem to have a touch of a sociopathic vibe about you- do you think you're a sociopath?

 

These bits in particular had you reminding me of an ex-colleague of mine:

 

 

I find that the like system carries the same kind of problems that the rep system had: ego-stroking, competition, attention-seeking, bias against certain members, etc.

If there were no likes, then:
- We would be less distracted by our gratification-seeking from others and by our unconscious intention-appraisal of others.
- We could post without thinking that maybe others are thinking that we are expecting to get liked.
- You won't ever think "Dang she didn't like my post, so maybe she thinks that my post isn't good enough."
- You won't ever think that someone intentionally didn't 'like' your post in order to indirectly offend you or as a result of what he or she thinks about you.
- You won't ever have to give a like just because you think that a poster might feel even slightly mad if you didn't.

 

 

Story time!

 

Well, there were many incidents of completely bizarre demonstrations of a whacky and dysfunctional thought process- but one minor event occured when we were due to have a visit from a VIP into the office. Everybody else had gone out for lunch but I stayed behind as I had a deadline for early afternoon. This VIP came a little earlier than he said he would and buzzed up to the office (you need a fob to get from floors of the building) so I answered the intercom and he identified himself. I buzzed him up and went to the end of the corridor to let him into the office. We exchanged pleasantries while we waited for the other members of staff to return from lunch and in that time, I made him a cup of tea and offered him some snacks. I then excused myself as it was getting late for Dhuhr and went next door to pray. In that time I was praying, everybody else returned back from lunch and to their surprise and happiness, they saw the VIP was already there and that he was in a chirpy mood.

 

When I finished praying and rejoined everybody, this particularly toxic colleague (let's call her Toxic LaToya) let out what could only be described as a blood-curdling shriek. Everybody turned around in shock wondering what had happened. She pointed at me and said "SHE DELIBERATELY DIDN'T GO OUT FOR LUNCH SO SHE COULD BE THE ONE TO SEE HIM IN. THEN SHE SAVED ALL THE BEST SNACKS TO SHOW OFF BEING A GOOD HOST. THEN SHE WENT TO PRAY TO SHOW OFF HOW FAKE PIOUS SHE IS. AND SHE KNEW DEEP DOWN I WANTED TO BE THE ONE TO RECEIVE HIM SO SHE PLANNED THIS ALL DELIBERATELY". Then there was pin-drop silence and all you could hear was exhausted deep breathing from the string of vocal allegations.

 

Anyway, a whole load of nonsense happened after that point but my point is- sometimes people are so far off the mark in their completely bizarre reading of the situation, there's no benefit or point in trying to engage, rationalise or make sense of any of it. All jokes aside, I feel the same about your list of the negative consequences of the 'like' system because I cannot relate to them in any way. I can only find humour in it. There's also a touch of Spud's point in not being able to take a topic like this seriously. To dissect something as trivial as this at this great length.....linking and quoting posts from almost 2 years ago to validate your point? I don't know. Time is really precious.

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So if this isn't serious enough of a topic to debate, then we can just disable the 'like' system right now and then nobody would really care, right?

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