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Guest Safiah!

A guy says to another guy in my business class:

 

"STOP DRINKING HATE-ORADE!"

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We're in Calculus and we're learning about Limits and Continuity. Someone asks...

 

Random Guy: Hey can we eat in class?

 

Teacher: Oh no, now you're just pushing the limits!

 

Me: HA HA HA HA HA.

 

:D

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Guest Safiah!

My uncle used to call Saddam Hussein 'So Damn Insane'. Good pun, eh?

 

Hamzah's 'Philosufi' is a great pun aswell.

 

Another excellent pun is my AIM nickname - that I needed to make for MYNA meetings - MYNAiac Muslim, suggested to me by another good fellah.

 

oh and yesteday, we discovered that my friend's cousin has one red beard hair. So when someone asked me who he was, I said he was the one with "the red hair". So this gal goes around looking for the dude with "the red hair" but to no avail. Then he walks into the room, his black hair & all and everyone tells her that THAT's the cousin. She looks at me, very confoozid, wondering if I'm colour blind but then I made him show her his red hair. Because literally he is the feller with the red HAIR (hair as in singular hair) but she understood it as the plural hair. I did intend for the confusion however, and so it is a pun of some sorts. Yeparoohoo.

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Chem Teacher:

I'm going to be positive and hope that you all memorized your ions.

 

to my chem teacher's credit, the pun was not intended.

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Guest Safiah!

The theme of the wedding was autumn and very coincedentally, my sisters & I were wearing autumn colours! Eldest = red. Me = orange. Little sis = yellow. BUT my middle sister was wearing this darkish purplish colour. And so I dubbed her "The odd leaf out". FOR SOME CRAZYAZZ reason, everyone found my corniness beyond hilarious.

 

And then again, yesteday, standing in line for food. My line (left line) was going exruciatingly slow.

 

ME: This side is going so much slower than the other!

SOME GUY: Join this side! Join this side! The right side is always better

ME: Yeah, you can never go wrong with the right

GUY: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

ME: :)

GUY: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

ME: B)

GUY: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

ME: :unsure:

GUY: HAHAHAHAHATHATSGOODHAHAHAHAHAH

ME: :mellow:

 

....and he laughed all the way to his table.

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Guest Safiah!

Safalafadafa - CBC Jan 9 @ 8:30 PM says:

that is why I didnt condemn you and call you kaffir and all these weird accusations

O Allah, give me strength and patience... says:

yeah

because although you are

Safalafadafa

you arent Salafilafidafi

Safalafadafa - CBC Jan 9 @ 8:30 PM says:

HAHAH

 

GET IT? GENIUS I TELLETH YE.

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My english teacher told us in eng. lit. class-

 

One man was aked to give a speech...he tried to think and said-"i concieve ..."

 

then stops again to think....again starts to speak "i concieve........."

 

is speechless again. tries to make another attempt to say something and again starts " i concieve.."

 

 

one man shouts from the audience.."u have concieved three times yet haven't produced anything"

 

 

P.S- sorry!!

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Asalamoalikum, folks:

 

What's the difference between a pun and a double entendre?

 

-jonas

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Double entendre is a bit like a pun, but tends to be used to conceal a more vulgar or ironic meaning than yer run of the mill pun.

 

So the pun is just the working in of a related word - "The poet Shelley was a good egg" (thankyou, thankyou, I'm here all week). But a double entendre has a meaning beyond that which is apparant on it's surface.

 

So, I would post some here, but most of them have a sexual meaning. However, I did find this - by the Poet Shelley as a matter of fact. In 'Ozymadias' a traveller looks upon a gigantic ruin, and reads "My name is Ozymandias, king of kings: Look on my works, ye mighty, and despair!" So on the surface, it's just a guy reading a piece o' rock. However, the double entendre is that Ozymandias, the king of kings is exhorting people to despair as they will never be equal to him in their achievements, the joke being this mighty work is now a ruin. So it's more of an ironic double entendre than a smutty one. Which is nice.

 

 

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Guest rzmdy

to get this pun you need to know few things

#1. Tahir means clean/pure

#2. In maliki madhab, dogs are ok to touch .i.e. tahir

 

In tukey, there was a poet called Tahir. One day he called another poet, dog!

So the other poet wrote a poem. (it was in turkish of course, but here it is in english...)

 

Mr. Tahir Called me dog

so you see I am maliki,

and as far as I know

dog is Tahir

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